Say cheese.

There are many little absurdities in the world. Here's one.

You know how, on the packaging of some food items, they'll print a recipe that features a creative use for that food item? I bought some cheese recently, and as I was making a sandwich, I noticed the recipe printed on the wrapper. I'm typing it for you here, verbatim:

DELI DELUXE Sub Sandwich

Prep: 5 minutes

1 bread roll or French bread roll
2 Tbsp. KRAFT Mayo Real Mayonnaise or MIRACLE WHIP Salad Dressing
2 KRAFT DELI DELUXE American Cheese Slices
6 slices OSCAR MAYER VARIETY-PAK Meats, any variety
Lettuce
Tomato slices

SPREAD roll with mayo.

FILL with remaining ingredients.

Um...

That was the recipe.

I'm trying to imagine the target audience for this kind of thing.

"Honey, this is delicious! What is it?"

"Well, I was at the supermarket, and I picked up some of this stuff called cheese. Stanley told me it was pretty good, even though I don't usually go for those exotic, frou-frou kind of things Stanley's always going on about. But anyway, I got it home and realized I didn't know what to do with it! Luckily, they had this recipe on the outside of the package, so I just followed that."

"It's delicious!"

"I know. The recipe called for mayo but -- get this -- I used mustard instead."

"You're a regular Chef Boyardee! Why you don't have your own show on The Food Network, I'll never know."

"Say cheese!"

"What?"

"That'll be my catchphrase. On my show. On the Food Network. Say cheese!"

"Oh, honey! You're so clever! What will you think of next!"