Three rules for riding the subway with Adam.

Well, not so much rules, as Things That Will Happen:

1) If you and the other people around you form a wall three-people deep on the subway platform, and if you leave no space through which I may exit the train, you will get pushed. Because I will push you.

2) If, during rush hour, you wrap your entire body around the pole in the subway car, so that none of the other thousand people around you can hold on to it, I will put my hand on the pole exactly at your eye level, and as the train moves, your face will be knocked into my hand many times. You will give me funny looks, and I will not care.

3) If you are non-chalantly reading your book, and at regular intervals exclaim, full-voiced, "GRRRRRRR....I AM THE WOLFMAN!" without so much as looking up from the pages of your novel, you will be my favorite person on the train, because you have not touched me or blocked my path, and you have made me smile.